There Are No Tigers

Sometimes there is fear, a panicky feeling that makes us want to fight or run away from whatever person, place or thing that appears to be causing the heart pounding anxiety. This sort of reaction may be quite helpful if the thing that is causing this terror is a tiger standing in front of us, ready to attack us.

Still, how many people, places or things in our modern world today truly threaten our lives? Sure, there certainly are some, but in our day to day, ordinary existence in a reasonably peaceful area of the world, we rarely encounter life or death type situations.

So why are so many people running away or fighting like we were living in a war zone?? It seems to me that the majority of the people in this country could be diagnosed with anxiety disorder. Everyone is moving so fast and is so stressed out (I am no exception, of course).

We can notice something amazing when we look at fear though. When we sit with it and look at it and become interested in it, there are still strong physical sensations, but they are not connected to any story. They may seem to be, but if we look closely, we see these are just sensations happening in the body. They pass.

When there is fear, there doesn't always have to be a real reason for it. Most often I find that my fears are quite unfounded. It is good to be cautious, but it is also good to closely examine fear and do a reality check, especially someone like myself who is prone to anxiety. What am I really afraid of? How real is the threat?

Most importantly, how is this fear hindering me from doing what I really want to do? I get angry at the thought of being hindered from doing what I want to do, being who I want to be. That stubbornness is often all it takes for me to move forward even when I am afraid. What new adventure could I be missing out on by running away? I don't want to miss out! As long as I have examined my fears and not found anything that is a true threat to me, why wouldn't I go for it?

Intimacy can be scary because at the heart of intimacy is vulnerability. We don't want to be intimate with those who are about to rip our hearts out, but do a reality check - is that person someone who we really can't trust and could very well rip our hearts out? If the answer is yes, then please do run. If the answer is no, then what is holding us back from connecting with someone in a deep and meaningful way? There is discomfort and fear at the cusp of something earth shattering and beautiful. This is natural. This is not a problem.

"Embarking on the spiritual journey is like getting into a very small boat and setting out on the ocean to search for unknown lands. With wholehearted practice comes inspiration, but sooner or later we will also encounter fear. For all we know, when we get to the horizon, we are going to drop off the edge of the world. Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what's waiting out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it." Pema Chodron, When Things Fall Apart