Saturday, May 22, 2010


I find that in the quest to "be good," "be strong," and "do it right," to love in the most selfless and highest way possible, I can sometimes get into a very austere mode of reigning in any kind of desire and neediness in me. Love is without need, right? Well, perhaps that is not true.

C. S. Lewis talks about two kinds of love, Need-love and Gift-love. Gift-love is God-like and Need-love is simply not, as God lacks nothing. But we must be careful not to judge these kinds of love as good or bad. They are both just different kinds of love. In fact, our Need-love is the kind of love that actually brings us closer to God. It is the child-like love in us that causes us to reach out to be filled by God.

excerpt from The Four Loves - C. S. Lewis:

"We must be cautious about calling Need-love 'mere selfishness.' Mere is always a dangerous word. No doubt Need-love, like all our impulses, can be selfishly indulged. A tyrannous and gluttonous demand for affection can be a horrible thing. But in ordinary life no one calls a child selfish because it turns for comfort to its mother; nor an adult who turns to his fellow 'for company.' Those, whether children or adults, who do so least are not usually the most selfless. Where Need-love is felt there may be reasons for denying or totally mortifying it; but not to feel it is in general the mark of the cold egoist. Since we do in reality need one another ('it is not good for man to be alone'), then the failure of this need to appear as Need-love in consciousness - in other words, the illusory feeling that it is good for us to be alone - is a bad spiritual symptom; just as lack of appetite is a bad medical symptom because men do really need food."

Absolutely Clear - Shams al-Din Hafiz

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.

Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,

My need of God

Friday, May 14, 2010

Ode to Doing Nothing

It is amazing how I can sit still in one place and travel a million miles, finding endless entertainment. It's all inside me. This inner world is deep, expansive and creative. All I have to do is sit here doing nothing and the show begins. When I sit here and let it all flow without trying to stop it or hold on to it, I feel happy and peaceful. I just notice the movement of energy through my mind, heart and body.

Just let it move through.

Gratitude for the sunny day and little time off work...