Let’s talk a little bit about impermanence

I have written about this topic before, but it is not a topic that gets old for me. My “judging” personality type prefers things be decided and it is a very strong habit pattern. I like to analyze, sort, figure out, determine, move left or right, settle the score, define, categorize. I have a tendency to wait to make decisions or take action until things are stable. And on the other side of the coin, if things are not stable, I have a tendency to make hasty decisions with the intention of making them stable. There certainly is benefit to having neat and orderly habits, but it can be a real burden at times in the form of perfectionism.

Meditation practice has helped me to feel more comfortable with ambiguity, groundlessness and impermanence. Meditating on the fact that nothing is certain actually brings a sense of freedom. I can sort and determine and plan – and it is good to do so, but ultimately, all that really matters is what is happening right in front of me, right now. Reflecting on impermanence helps push me into the present moment. I can’t wait until some future time to live. The time to live is Now. It is always Now. I have hopes and plans for the future, but none of that is certain. All that is actually certain is what is happening Now. Even what happened in the past is not certain. Thoughts about the past are just thoughts happening now in the present. What happened in the past was only certain at the time it actually happened. Now the past is just a memory and the further I get from it, the more unreliable my memory is of it.

I am not tied down by any negative circumstance because it will eventually change. All I need is patience. I am not tied down by any positive circumstance because of the understanding that it will eventually change. I am more easily able to let good things go when they change because it is not a surprise. There is no delusion that somehow I could make things stay the same.

There is a wonderful Zen story about how no circumstance can really be categorized as good/bad, lucky/unlucky. Jon J. Muth tells this story very nicely in the children’s book Zen Shorts:

There was once an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day, his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "Maybe," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two other wild horses. "Such good luck!" the neighbors exclaimed. "Maybe," replied the farmer.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown off, and broke his leg. Again, the neighbors came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Such bad luck," they said. "Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after that, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army to fight in a war. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. "Such good luck!" cried the neighbors. "Maybe," said the farmer.

All of the events and circumstances of our lives are relative. And often, we may not even realize how “lucky” we are in a particular moment. There are layers upon layers of conditions contributing to the events of our lives. Perhaps it is for the best not to know how it could be better or worse, only how it is now.