Finding Peace on the Job

I haven't had much time to write lately. Usually I squeeze in some time at work but work has been a bit crazy.

As I drove in to work this morning, enjoying the scenery and the scent of earth after the rain, I felt so far away from work, which felt really good. I wasn't thinking about the big meeting I had to run later in the morning. I had this sense of just being completely ok with whatever was going to happen today.

It has been said that arahantship or enlightenment is really not compatible with worldly life. Those that go in that direction either die or become monks. I feel like I have an understanding of this... letting go completely certainly is not compatible with a corporate job.

The more I let go in my life and in my career, the more I wonder how much longer I can really maintain all this worldly stuff. Do I have good enough karma to let go a lot and still keep my job?? How much can I really let go before I just get fired for being too peaceful and relaxed? How far can I go with being relaxed in the particular corporate culture that I work in? When I am working, I put in my time and give my best effort, but I don't take all this as seriously as a lot of my colleagues. People really get worked up about stuff, and I just refuse. I have given up getting worked up about stuff. Doesn't mean it never happens. In fact, I can feel myself starting to get worked up about something, but usually I can catch it before it spirals out of control.

After my meeting today that was quite tense, people were sending me messages asking if I was ok. Of course I was ok. I was not thrilled about the way the meeting went, but I did the best I could with what I know and what I have to work with. I just called it a learning experience. I reminded myself that I am actually still pretty much a rookie in the role that I have now at work. It is ok if I don't know and don't do things right, as long as I make the appropriate corrections and learn from the experience.

I suppose I could find myself a career more compatible with peacefulness, but why? Why can't I be peaceful in ANY job? That challenge is why I stay. I want to learn something here. If I don't learn it here, I'll end up in some other similar experience somewhere else.

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-Rumi